Wednesday, October 8, 2014

If men don’t stack up, marry yourself

Happily married to herself ... Grace Gelder throws the wedding bouquet. Picture: amygrubb
Happily married to herself ... Grace Gelder throws the wedding bouquet. 
A WOMAN, who had been single for six years, said she formed such a brilliant relationship with herself that she decided to marry herself.
Grace Gelder, a photographer in London, said that she proposed to herself on a park bench on Parliament Hill.
“A few did comment, in a lighthearted way, that it was a bit narcissistic,” Gelder told The Guardian.
“Obviously, if you’ve just announced you’re marrying yourself, it is plainly a statement of self-love, and I was under no illusion how self-indulgent that might appear. But I was completely comfortable with my motivations.”

Been single for six years ... Grace Gelder, a photographer, decided she knew herself so well that she would marry herself.

Gelder, who was married by her friend and celebrant Tiu de Haan, said she was inspired by a the song isobel by Björk and had been “on a journey of personal development using meditation, dance and performance” to increase her “self-awareness,” especially a Shakti Tantra program “focused on sexuality and how this was bound up with making agreements with yourself and other people.”
She bought a dress, a ring, rehearsed vows and married in a farmhouse in Devon in front of 50 friends and her sister. She sealed the marriage by planting a kiss on a mirror.
“It felt like a really big deal saying my vows, which were mostly about me promising to take more risks in matters of the heart. I remember really paying attention to the words as they left my mouth and it felt like they were hanging in the air.
“Equally, the ring, a less spontaneous purchase than the dress, brought home to me this idea of commitment, sealing the deal if you like.”
Gelder said the traditional elements — a ring and the marriage vows were important.
“Some female acquaintances have told me that I’m an example to women, but I say: “Why not an example to men too?”
“I really don’t see it as any kind of feminist statement, but creating a wedding of this kind on my own terms felt incredibly empowering.
“My self-married status — meaningless though it may remain in the eyes of the law — has also given me this great sense of clarity. I seem to sense much more clearly than before if something is worth pursuing or best left alone.
“And just because I married myself, it doesn’t mean that I’m not open to the idea of sharing a wedding with someone else one day.”

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